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  • Writer's pictureAlyssa

Where have you been wasting your energy & how to stop

Updated: Nov 30, 2022

You're not achieving your goals and you have no idea why. Well you should be thinking about what choices you can make that will propel you forward and serve your highest purpose. But what you're probably doing is,

  1. Being a "yes" person

  2. Being afraid

  3. Comparing yourself to everyone else.

Did you just nod your head to one or all of these?

I'm sure you did because we have allll been there!

Being a "yes" person means that you're saying yes to everyone else but yourself. Everyone comes to you and says, "can you do this, can you do that, can you take me here?" And you always say yes, putting yourself and your goals on the backburner.

You need to create boundaries.

To do this, grab a piece of paper and write down all the things you have agreed to do for other people. Take a good long look at the list and circle all of the things that you have said yes to out of guilt, out of a desire to please, or that does not align with your highest good. Next choose 2-3 of those circled items and walk away from those obligations. This leaves more time for you and what you need to do to reach your goals.

If you're afraid of moving forward. It's ok! It happens to everyone but fear slowly drains the life out of you until there's nothing left. So, pull up your big girl pants and say NO more! There is good fear and bad fear. Good fear will help propel you forward out of your comfort zone so that you can reach your goals. Bad fear keeps you comfortable, safe... stuck. With this kind of fear you are paralyzed from making any sort of movement and you can not evolve without movement.

When you are feeling stuck, when you can't make a decision, a move, stop and ask yourself, "Am I afraid?" if the answer is yes, ask, "What am I afraid of?" chances are, like most people, your answer will be completely irrational. Once you realize what it is your afraid of you can deal with it and take a step! Realizing what the reason is for you fear is liberating and then you can meet that fear with love and get moving!

Lastly, comparing yourself to other people is such a HUGE waste of your energy. De-valuing yourself is de-valuing all of the hard work you have done thus far. You could have worked your butt off for the cute little apartment that you just got and be so proud. But then you see "Sally" was just given a huge house from her grandma and immediately all your hard work means nothing. Comparing yourself to others is the most devastating thing you can do.

The way to change this is to take notice of your thought patterns. When you notice yourself comparing, just notice with curiosity NOT judgement what you're doing and immediately stop and instead think of 1-2 things that you love about yourself and your situation NOW. Begin to learn how to accept yourself as you are RIGHT NOW. This is the beginning of your journey to radical self acceptance.

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